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Scientists have recently made an unusual discovery. They claim that amid the world population fully twenty five percent show an ancestral DNA link to Neanderthal man. They have renamed these modern throw backs, “Human Stupidicus.” Here are a few examples; These individuals are highly ego centric, they never use turn signals, do not hold doors open for others, cut others off in traffic, and budge into line ups at cashiers. They are rather linguistically challenged and when emotionally upset are rendered nearly speechless except for a few crude hand gestures and one syllable cuss words. When parking they make sure to take up at least two or three spaces, make sure its crooked and yes for kicks make sure they ding your door. They will hold up traffic, both lanes to have a chat with the guy in other car, just because they know each other, often live next door. (last week we observed an example of high tech human stupidicous. The pair drew their cars next to each other at the entry of a gas station, blocking other cars and even commercial trucks from entry. Each kept their windows closed so their air conditioning could continue to keep them comfortable, popped open their I-phones and commenced texting.) Female human stupidicous can be seen in all her glory in cashier line ups. They chat with others, check their phones, then get to the cashier fumble through their bags looking for their customer cards. Then after three minutes give up looking for them. Once rung through, they spend another three minutes looking for their cash card only to find its in the purse they left at home. When in the great outdoors they show little sense of the environment, tossing sundry litter all about, be it bottles, bags, cigarettes or candy wrap. Often they can be seen wearing inappropriate clothing for the weather conditions such as shorts on a twenty below zero day, or stretch pants that are several sizes too small. The female of their species likes to apply make-up when driving on the freeways at maximum speed, displaying a formidable lack of fear of death. Many seem to have ears far too small, their listening skills suspect, noticeable most when they are in adolescence. However they compensate for their lack of hearing by having mouths far too large. Their speech often so loud that it can be heard through a restaurant or office.
Scientists note that there are varied degrees of this ancient DNA. Some have only a small fraction others more. The next time you see one of these throwbacks just smile and thank you lucky stars you got the good end of the DNA stick.