Senior Conversations

This site is dedicated to those of us past a certain age who have developed a great deal of wisdom in combination with an awesome sense of humor. None of the content is intended to cause insult or injury.

Webster’s Dictionary defines Immature as; not mature, not completely developed, not finished or perfect. It defines senior as; older, of higher rank or service. We like to think of ourselves as not finished and of higher rank! Many of us are projects still in the works, and we have been at it for a long time! We feel young at heart and thus consider ourselves Immature Seniors.

All stories, poems, jokes and comments that follow are in large print for those who like easy to read text. We will always do our best to add new content each week.

The content of this post is written by the web page author and is original. If you choose to copy any content from this site, please let others know where you got it from.

Senior Conversations

Overheard in a restaurant.
To seniors were sharing a meal. One asked for the salt. The other took a little while to gt it passed across the table. “Sorry, I’m a bit slow these days.”
“Well we are senior,” the other replied.
“True enough said the first.”
“Yeah at our age its expected we suffer from slowtimers!”

A little while later a fellow passed by the dinning pair.
“Hey Al!” one of the dinners shouted, “Good to see you. You still kicking?”
“Yeah…I’m still kicking…but not as high!”

ALL SHOOK UP!

This site is dedicated to those of us past a certain age who have developed a great deal of wisdom in combination with an awesome sense of humor. None of the content is intended to cause insult or injury.

Webster’s Dictionary defines Immature as; not mature, not completely developed, not finished or perfect. It defines senior as; older, of higher rank or service. We like to think of ourselves as not finished and of higher rank! Many of us are projects still in the works, and we have been at it for a long time! We feel young at heart and thus consider ourselves Immature Seniors.

All stories, poems, jokes and comments that follow are in large print for those who like easy to read text. We will always do our best to add new content each week.

The content of this post is written by the web page author and is original. If you choose to copy any content from this site, please let others know where you got it from.

All Shook Up

ALL SHOOK UP- With Apologies to Elvis

Well bless my soul, what’s wrong with me?
I got a big ugly ache in my right side knee
My neck’s in a kink and my head how it hurts
When I walk I don’t glide…I kind of jerk
My eyes are blurry I don’t see too good
My fingers are gnarly they’re looking like wood.

I’m retired
and I’m all shook up
oh yeah…yeah…yeah

My hair has gone grey now and thinner than thin
my face has these wrinkles and more than one chin
My knees wobble badly my spine does it more
just getting up in the morning has become a chore
I’m stiff and unyielding I creak and I groan
it feels like I’m made entirely of stone.

I’m retired
and I’m all shook up
oh yeah…yeah…yeah

Well bless my soul what’s happened to me?
I don’t seem as spry and young as I used to be
takes me longer to get anywhere
once at my destination I forget why I’m there
Forgetful, confused and all in a muddle am I
but I put on a smile and knowingly sigh

I’m now retired
and all shook up
oh yeah…yeah…yeah.

Immature Senior Never Too Old

This site is dedicated to those of us past a certain age who have developed a great deal of wisdom in combination with an awesome sense of humor. None of the content is intended to cause insult or injury.

Webster’s Dictionary defines Immature as; not mature, not completely developed, not finished or perfect. It defines senior as; older, of higher rank or service. We like to think of ourselves as not finished and of higher rank! Many of us are projects still in the works, and we have been at it for a long time! We feel young at heart and thus consider ourselves Immature Seniors.

All stories, poems, jokes and comments that follow are in large print for those who like easy to read text. We will always do our best to add new content each week.

The content of this post is written by the web page author and is original. If you choose to copy any content from this site, please let others know where you got it from.

Never Too Old

Last night we attended a senoir’s event. It was a Pool tournament, eight teams of two. My husband was part of a team, but I did not go over to watch until he had played one or two games. By that time all the under 60′s had gone. I believe the average age of the players remaining was over 65. One lady had four great grandchildren. Country music was playing, several cans of cold beer were being held in aged hands, pool cues in the other. Here’s what struck me the most upon entering. One, some of the shots being made were incredible. Who ever says old eyes and minds aren’t quick wasn’t at this event. Pool is about angles, strategy, skill, good eye sight and yes a bit of luck regarding where the balls go. But I could clearly see these elders using their brains to sum up the board and make some remarkable shots. Nothing wrong with their coordination either, several had to balance over the table in ways a trained athlete may have done! Then there was the music. At one point every voice in the room was singing along to a well known country tune, even mine. We sounded like a choir! Not a voice out of tune either. Then during a lull in play a pair of ladies were whispering a joke to each other. The laughter that erupted was so spontaneous and unbounded that the room went quiet and we all looked at the pair, who as a result giggled and laughed even more. They were so like a pair of teenage girls it was hard to remember that one of them was that great grandmother. I sort of wished now I had got there sooner, no telling what high jinks I missed. One thing is for sure, you’re only as old as you feel and last night a room full of seniors were feeling young, very young.

Human Stupidicus

This site is dedicated to those of us past a certain age who have developed a great deal of wisdom in combination with an awesome sense of humor. None of the content is intended to cause insult or injury.

Webster’s Dictionary defines Immature as; not mature, not completely developed, not finished or perfect. It defines senior as; older, of higher rank or service. We like to think of ourselves as not finished and of higher rank! Many of us are projects still in the works, and we have been at it for a long time! We feel young at heart and thus consider ourselves Immature Seniors.

All stories, poems, jokes and comments that follow are in large print for those who like easy to read text. We will always do our best to add new content each week.

The content of this post is written by the web page author and is original. If you choose to copy any content from this site, please let others know where you got it from.

Human Stupidicus

Scientists have recently made an unusual discovery. They claim that amid the world population fully twenty five percent show an ancestral DNA link to Neanderthal man. They have renamed these modern throw backs, “Human Stupidicus.” Here are a few examples; These individuals are highly ego centric, they never use turn signals, do not hold doors open for others, cut others off in traffic, and budge into line ups at cashiers. They are rather linguistically challenged and when emotionally upset are rendered nearly speechless except for a few crude hand gestures and one syllable cuss words. When parking they make sure to take up at least two or three spaces, make sure its crooked and yes for kicks make sure they ding your door. They will hold up traffic, both lanes to have a chat with the guy in other car, just because they know each other, often live next door. (last week we observed an example of high tech human stupidicous. The pair drew their cars next to each other at the entry of a gas station, blocking other cars and even commercial trucks from entry. Each kept their windows closed so their air conditioning could continue to keep them comfortable, popped open their I-phones and commenced texting.) Female human stupidicous can be seen in all her glory in cashier line ups. They chat with others, check their phones, then get to the cashier fumble through their bags looking for their customer cards. Then after three minutes give up looking for them. Once rung through, they spend another three minutes looking for their cash card only to find its in the purse they left at home. When in the great outdoors they show little sense of the environment, tossing sundry litter all about, be it bottles, bags, cigarettes or candy wrap. Often they can be seen wearing inappropriate clothing for the weather conditions such as shorts on a twenty below zero day, or stretch pants that are several sizes too small. The female of their species likes to apply make-up when driving on the freeways at maximum speed, displaying a formidable lack of fear of death. Many seem to have ears far too small, their listening skills suspect, noticeable most when they are in adolescence. However they compensate for their lack of hearing by having mouths far too large. Their speech often so loud that it can be heard through a restaurant or office.
Scientists note that there are varied degrees of this ancient DNA. Some have only a small fraction others more. The next time you see one of these throwbacks just smile and thank you lucky stars you got the good end of the DNA stick.

Immature Senior- Season’s End

This site is dedicated to those of us past a certain age who have developed a great deal of wisdom in combination with an awesome sense of humor. None of the content is intended to cause insult or injury.

Webster’s Dictionary defines Immature as; not mature, not completely developed, not finished or perfect. It defines senior as; older, of higher rank or service. We like to think of ourselves as not finished and of higher rank! Many of us are projects still in the works, and we have been at it for a long time! We feel young at heart and thus consider ourselves Immature Seniors.

All stories, poems, jokes and comments that follow are in large print for those who like easy to read text. We will always do our best to add new content each week.

The content of this post is written by the web page author and is original. If you choose to copy any content from this site, please let others know where you got it from.

Season’s End

The days in the sun are gone
a chill is in the air
trees are going golden
leaves falling everywhere

I long for the lazy days
when the sun was oh so high
for with this season of fall
I know winter is truly nigh

Away go my sandals and shorts
and the creamy sun block too
out come my winter sweaters
and my long-johns oh so blue

Away goes the rake and garden hoe
my mind is in a muddle
soon frosty white icy snow
will give way to the autumn puddle

My days in the sun are past
and fall is in the air
why did they leave so swiftly
why didn’t the summer last?

Immature Senior & Found Poetry

This site is dedicated to those of us past a certain age who have developed a great deal of wisdom in combination with an awesome sense of humor. None of the content is intended to cause insult or injury.

Webster’s Dictionary defines Immature as; not mature, not completely developed, not finished or perfect. It defines senior as; older, of higher rank or service. We like to think of ourselves as not finished and of higher rank! Many of us are projects still in the works, and we have been at it for a long time! We feel young at heart and thus consider ourselves Immature Seniors.

All stories, poems, jokes and comments that follow are in large print for those who like easy to read text. We will always do our best to add new content each week.

The content of this post is written by the web page author and is original. If you choose to copy any content from this site, please let others know where you got it from.

Found Poetry

Found Poetry- Every line is a song title…really!

From The Heart

My Heart Cries For You
Are You Lonesome Tonight?
All In Love Is Fair
Don’t Give Up
I Won’t Ever Let You Down
I’m Your Angel
This I promise You

Give Me One More Night
You Can Do Magic
I Need You
Here I Am
Mercy Mercy Me
I Pledge My Love
Love Of My Life
Inseparable!

Bathroom Bar

This site is dedicated to those of us past a certain age who have developed a great deal of wisdom in combination with an awesome sense of humor. None of the content is intended to cause insult or injury.

Webster’s Dictionary defines Immature as; not mature, not completely developed, not finished or perfect. It defines senior as; older, of higher rank or service. We like to think of ourselves as not finished and of higher rank! Many of us are projects still in the works, and we have been at it for a long time! We feel young at heart and thus consider ourselves Immature Seniors.

All stories, poems, jokes and comments that follow are in large print for those who like easy to read text. We will always do our best to add new content each week.

The content of this post is written by the web page author and is original. If you choose to copy any content from this site, please let others know where you got it from.

Bathroom Bar

Overheard in our local fast food joint the other day…
One Senior said to the next, “Did you hear about Harry? He’s getting a bar put into his bathroom.”
“A bar? I thought Harry had quit drinking!”
“No you fool, not that kind of bar!” Replied the first.
“Is there any other kind?”
“Of course there is. Harry is getting a bar so he can get in and out of the tub, its to assist him! No one would want the other kind of bar in their bathroom!” added the first.
“Well…I would,” the second glumly observed, “its better than the kind you need to help you get up!”
“Yeah, a bar in the John, great spot for one. A man could do his drinking, his thinking and his tinkling all at one and in absolute peace!”
The pair went thoughtful and quiet. I could almost see the wheels turning!

Salt Of My Tears

This site is dedicated to those of us past a certain age who have developed a great deal of wisdom in combination with an awesome sense of humor. None of the content is intended to cause insult or injury.

Webster’s Dictionary defines Immature as; not mature, not completely developed, not finished or perfect. It defines senior as; older, of higher rank or service. We like to think of ourselves as not finished and of higher rank! Many of us are projects still in the works, and we have been at it for a long time! We feel young at heart and thus consider ourselves Immature Seniors.

All stories, poems, jokes and comments that follow are in large print for those who like easy to read text. We will always do our best to add new content each week.

The content of this post is written by the web page author and is original. If you choose to copy any content from this site, please let others know where you got it from.

Salt Of My Tears

Greetings, finally I am able to post, though there may be down times yet to come.
My latest book, SALT OF MY TEARS, has been published. It is available at Amazon and other like retailers on line, just do a search using my name- Vanessa Isitt- it will do the trick. At present I have only found it in hard copy, but the e-book should soon be available. This story was inspired when my family made a trip through the Crow’s Nest pass and visited the Frank Slide Interpretive center some twenty plus years ago. It was almost published back then, but things fell through. I put it away for years, and only recently too another look at it. After a few edits I sent it out and at last found a publisher!
Below is a brief description of what it is about.
Very few of us know what its like to be buried alive. Fewer yet, survive it.
When Turtle mountain fractured and slid on top of the sleeping town of Frank, lives were lost, lives were changed. Some perished in an instant, some survived, and some were buried alive.
Salt of My Tears is a tale of two young strangers who become trapped in the tragic rock slide that buried the town of Frank in the early morning hours of April 29, 1903. During their six day entrapment, both begin to leave their pasts behind, and learn to love again. When their miraculous rescue occurs the past catches up to them, threatening to destroy them both.

Immature Senior has Computer Problems!

This site is dedicated to those of us past a certain age who have developed a great deal of wisdom in combination with an awesome sense of humor. None of the content is intended to cause insult or injury.

Webster’s Dictionary defines Immature as; not mature, not completely developed, not finished or perfect. It defines senior as; older, of higher rank or service. We like to think of ourselves as not finished and of higher rank! Many of us are projects still in the works, and we have been at it for a long time! We feel young at heart and thus consider ourselves Immature Seniors.

All stories, poems, jokes and comments that follow are in large print for those who like easy to read text. We will always do our best to add new content each week.

The content of this post is written by the web page author and is original. If you choose to copy any content from this site, please let others know where you got it from.

Posting Issues

To all my readers an apology. I am having problems with internet access.
I have just learned that Telus in its great wisdom has seen fit to end all dial up service in Western Canada. No heads up…no warning, just boom, a big disconnect! Now I have a very old computer…almost an antique. I like my old dinosaur, very much. And since I mainly deal with text on line, the dial up was just fine.
But Telus sees it otherwise. For some reason they have decided to end dial up access to all providers…its only high speed now. I think my poor little machine would go up in smoke! I spent all day Thursday trying to find out what was going on, it took a bit of digging to find out what Telus had done, my internet provider eventually told me. Then I called Telus, and yes they admitted to the crime. They were, as you can imagine less than sympathetic. I am hornet mad. At present I pay a little over $26.00 including taxes and fees for my dial up service. It has been a great service. Now I face a $50.00 plus fee for the basic high speed service, not including taxes and fees. It will be double once those are calculated in. Today I tried to connect to the net, but my provider is having problems, they are scrambling to serve their dial up customers and this has caused them some grief. Their server is not responding now!
Thanks a whole lot Telus, you greedy so an so…You are playing the big thug, and putting some of us into limbo. I guess that goes with being a big monopoly, they don’t care about the customers at all, as long as they get their money! Their ads say the future is friendly… not for me. I now have to pay more for a service I don’t really want, dial up was fine for me! I may have to get a new computer to cope with this demand? I will have to change all my e-mail contacts, and this in itself will give me a few days stress as my disability doesn’t allow me to sit at my machine for long. I have to figure out how to get my e-mail to change accounts… its a mess which is why I am warning my readers…this blog may get stale. No telling how soon I will be able to get on line and do a post…sorry I will do my best, but if things go sour then you will all now why. The connection is working sporadically, so it may be a while before I can post again, sorry!

Immature Senior- Found Poetry

This site is dedicated to those of us past a certain age who have developed a great deal of wisdom in combination with an awesome sense of humor. None of the content is intended to cause insult or injury.

Webster’s Dictionary defines Immature as; not mature, not completely developed, not finished or perfect. It defines senior as; older, of higher rank or service. We like to think of ourselves as not finished and of higher rank! Many of us are projects still in the works, and we have been at it for a long time! We feel young at heart and thus consider ourselves Immature Seniors.

All stories, poems, jokes and comments that follow are in large print for those who like easy to read text. We will always do our best to add new content each week.

The content of this post is written by the web page author and is original. If you choose to copy any content from this site, please let others know where you got it from.

Found Poetry

Found Poetry was a favorite of mine when young. You take titles or phrases and combine them create poetry. I used to do this a lot, mainly using song titles. I decided recently to try it again. To follow is the result, and yes every line is truly a song title, some familiar, some less so.

I Do Believe
You’re Nobody ‘Till Somebody Loves You
Just The Way You Are
What A Wonderful World
I Believe
It All Depends On You
I Want To Hold Your Hand
Kiss Kiss Kiss
I Only Want To Be With You
Please Please Me
Stop And Think It Over
Love Me Do
Let It be
Tonight’s The Night

Because Of You
You’re In My Heart
Gentle On My Mind
The Magic Touch
Straight From The Heart
You’re The Reason
I’m Not Alone
I Can’t Stop Loving You
Come Together
You’ll Never Find Another Love Like Mine
I Just Want To Be Your Everything
You Are The One
My True Love
A Total Eclipse Of The Heart.