The Duck Man

This site is dedicated to those of us past a certain age who have developed a great deal of wisdom in combination with an awesome sense of humor. None of the content is intended to cause insult or injury.

Webster’s Dictionary defines Immature as; not mature, not completely developed, not finished or perfect. It defines senior as; older, of higher rank or service. We like to think of ourselves as not finished and of higher rank! Many of us are projects still in the works, and we have been at it for a long time! We feel young at heart and thus consider ourselves Immature Seniors.

All stories, poems, jokes and comments that follow are in large print for those who like easy to read text. We will always do our best to add new content each week.

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The Duck Man

Recently we were visiting our friend who lives in a retirement home. He had been telling us about a beloved character he called “The Duck Man.” We finally met him, and what a delight. He announced himself with two toots on his duck call then with the help of his walker headed for the back door. Now this complex is located along the edge of a river. The river is a bit back, fringed with trees, but out back there is an area for a garden and green space. The Duck man went out there. The ducks were waiting, fifty to sixty of them. They actually came right to the door as he went out, having heard the two calls. We watched and smiled as the horde waddled after him. Mallards both female and male followed him like tame dogs. He went on, walker in hand, smile well placed on his face. The ducks followed him until he came to a spot close to the planters. There he emptied a small cup of feed into his hand, extended it and waited. He ducks came to him, shy at first, then a brave one or two actually took the feed right from his hand. Now please know these ducks are wild, and shy of humans. He recently lost his wife of a life time, so he is deeply affected by that loss. He looked old and frail…that is until he had the ducks gather round him. His face lit up, his posture went straight and his smile beamed so bright that we, who watched him, all in turn began to smile. He was in his own world and unaware of those who were watching him through the window. All that mattered to him were his ducks and their appreciation. He was out there less than ten minutes in all. Alone in the chill of an icy winter noon. But he sure warmed up our hearts. His return was quiet and subdued, though his smile was not. And for a moment he seemed unburdened by age or loss. So were those of us who watched him. Its amazing how a simple small gesture, unplanned and from the heart can have such far reaching results. The Duck man was only feeding the ducks, no great scheme, no ulterior motive, just because he wanted to. Not only did he feed the ducks that day, he fed all of us watching, giving us a generous portion of delight. I understand he does this every day, he hires a taxi to take him downtown to buy the feed at his own expense, once every week or so. It takes no small measure of effort for him, as his mobility is compromised. He doesn’t do it for accolades, doesn’t do it for anyone but the ducks, yet he rewards us all!

Immature Senior On Dick

This site is dedicated to those of us past a certain age who have developed a great deal of wisdom in combination with an awesome sense of humor. None of the content is intended to cause insult or injury.

Webster’s Dictionary defines Immature as; not mature, not completely developed, not finished or perfect. It defines senior as; older, of higher rank or service. We like to think of ourselves as not finished and of higher rank! Many of us are projects still in the works, and we have been at it for a long time! We feel young at heart and thus consider ourselves Immature Seniors.

All stories, poems, jokes and comments that follow are in large print for those who like easy to read text. We will always do our best to add new content each week.

The content of this post is written by the web page author and is original. If you choose to copy any content from this site, please let others know where you got it from.

Dick

We were paying visit to a friend. He resides in a Senior complex. On that particular morning his room was being cleaned, so he was sitting in the lobby next to another individual. We joined them there. He introduced us to “Gracie.” She was a vibrant lady of eighty six years of age and full of stories about our little town. She had arrived here in 1946 as a young woman. When the train stopped all she could see of the town was cows and horses and dogs. She asked the conductor to take her home. She had a one way ticket so she was denied. She must have taken to the town, for here she still was. We delighted in her stories. Her humor and zest for life contagious. Just before leaving she told us one more. My husband had reminisced about her uncle Dick. She said that uncle Dick was a beloved and well liked family member, so much so that her husband had asked her to name their last born son after the man. She agreed, with one condition. “I told him we would never call him Dick. Rather he would be Richard…only Richard.” She smiled then chuckled. “Though, when my son grew to being a man he had truly become a Dick.” She chuckled again, “Know what I mean?” then winked. I will leave it to you to decide what she really meant.

Stellar Jays

This site is dedicated to those of us past a certain age who have developed a great deal of wisdom in combination with an awesome sense of humor. None of the content is intended to cause insult or injury.

Webster’s Dictionary defines Immature as; not mature, not completely developed, not finished or perfect. It defines senior as; older, of higher rank or service. We like to think of ourselves as not finished and of higher rank! Many of us are projects still in the works, and we have been at it for a long time! We feel young at heart and thus consider ourselves Immature Seniors.

All stories, poems, jokes and comments that follow are in large print for those who like easy to read text. We will always do our best to add new content each week.

The content of this post is written by the web page author and is original. If you choose to copy any content from this site, please let others know where you got it from.

Stellar Jays

Just saw six stellar jays at our feeders. Never expected to see so many together! They were chunky, healthy looking and alert. Their peaked heads turning this way and that. Their bodies going from deep blue to indigo to black, beautiful. Despite the minus eleven Celsius they were active and busy gobbling up the seed from our two feeders. On a dull winter day, their splash of deep blue was a delight to behold. We likely spend two or more hundred dollars a year on bird feed, and days like this prove it worth every penny.

Senior Conversations

This site is dedicated to those of us past a certain age who have developed a great deal of wisdom in combination with an awesome sense of humor. None of the content is intended to cause insult or injury.

Webster’s Dictionary defines Immature as; not mature, not completely developed, not finished or perfect. It defines senior as; older, of higher rank or service. We like to think of ourselves as not finished and of higher rank! Many of us are projects still in the works, and we have been at it for a long time! We feel young at heart and thus consider ourselves Immature Seniors.

All stories, poems, jokes and comments that follow are in large print for those who like easy to read text. We will always do our best to add new content each week.

The content of this post is written by the web page author and is original. If you choose to copy any content from this site, please let others know where you got it from.

Senior Conversations

Overheard in a restaurant.
To seniors were sharing a meal. One asked for the salt. The other took a little while to gt it passed across the table. “Sorry, I’m a bit slow these days.”
“Well we are senior,” the other replied.
“True enough said the first.”
“Yeah at our age its expected we suffer from slowtimers!”

A little while later a fellow passed by the dinning pair.
“Hey Al!” one of the dinners shouted, “Good to see you. You still kicking?”
“Yeah…I’m still kicking…but not as high!”

ALL SHOOK UP!

This site is dedicated to those of us past a certain age who have developed a great deal of wisdom in combination with an awesome sense of humor. None of the content is intended to cause insult or injury.

Webster’s Dictionary defines Immature as; not mature, not completely developed, not finished or perfect. It defines senior as; older, of higher rank or service. We like to think of ourselves as not finished and of higher rank! Many of us are projects still in the works, and we have been at it for a long time! We feel young at heart and thus consider ourselves Immature Seniors.

All stories, poems, jokes and comments that follow are in large print for those who like easy to read text. We will always do our best to add new content each week.

The content of this post is written by the web page author and is original. If you choose to copy any content from this site, please let others know where you got it from.

All Shook Up

ALL SHOOK UP- With Apologies to Elvis

Well bless my soul, what’s wrong with me?
I got a big ugly ache in my right side knee
My neck’s in a kink and my head how it hurts
When I walk I don’t glide…I kind of jerk
My eyes are blurry I don’t see too good
My fingers are gnarly they’re looking like wood.

I’m retired
and I’m all shook up
oh yeah…yeah…yeah

My hair has gone grey now and thinner than thin
my face has these wrinkles and more than one chin
My knees wobble badly my spine does it more
just getting up in the morning has become a chore
I’m stiff and unyielding I creak and I groan
it feels like I’m made entirely of stone.

I’m retired
and I’m all shook up
oh yeah…yeah…yeah

Well bless my soul what’s happened to me?
I don’t seem as spry and young as I used to be
takes me longer to get anywhere
once at my destination I forget why I’m there
Forgetful, confused and all in a muddle am I
but I put on a smile and knowingly sigh

I’m now retired
and all shook up
oh yeah…yeah…yeah.

Immature Senior Never Too Old

This site is dedicated to those of us past a certain age who have developed a great deal of wisdom in combination with an awesome sense of humor. None of the content is intended to cause insult or injury.

Webster’s Dictionary defines Immature as; not mature, not completely developed, not finished or perfect. It defines senior as; older, of higher rank or service. We like to think of ourselves as not finished and of higher rank! Many of us are projects still in the works, and we have been at it for a long time! We feel young at heart and thus consider ourselves Immature Seniors.

All stories, poems, jokes and comments that follow are in large print for those who like easy to read text. We will always do our best to add new content each week.

The content of this post is written by the web page author and is original. If you choose to copy any content from this site, please let others know where you got it from.

Never Too Old

Last night we attended a senoir’s event. It was a Pool tournament, eight teams of two. My husband was part of a team, but I did not go over to watch until he had played one or two games. By that time all the under 60′s had gone. I believe the average age of the players remaining was over 65. One lady had four great grandchildren. Country music was playing, several cans of cold beer were being held in aged hands, pool cues in the other. Here’s what struck me the most upon entering. One, some of the shots being made were incredible. Who ever says old eyes and minds aren’t quick wasn’t at this event. Pool is about angles, strategy, skill, good eye sight and yes a bit of luck regarding where the balls go. But I could clearly see these elders using their brains to sum up the board and make some remarkable shots. Nothing wrong with their coordination either, several had to balance over the table in ways a trained athlete may have done! Then there was the music. At one point every voice in the room was singing along to a well known country tune, even mine. We sounded like a choir! Not a voice out of tune either. Then during a lull in play a pair of ladies were whispering a joke to each other. The laughter that erupted was so spontaneous and unbounded that the room went quiet and we all looked at the pair, who as a result giggled and laughed even more. They were so like a pair of teenage girls it was hard to remember that one of them was that great grandmother. I sort of wished now I had got there sooner, no telling what high jinks I missed. One thing is for sure, you’re only as old as you feel and last night a room full of seniors were feeling young, very young.

Human Stupidicus

This site is dedicated to those of us past a certain age who have developed a great deal of wisdom in combination with an awesome sense of humor. None of the content is intended to cause insult or injury.

Webster’s Dictionary defines Immature as; not mature, not completely developed, not finished or perfect. It defines senior as; older, of higher rank or service. We like to think of ourselves as not finished and of higher rank! Many of us are projects still in the works, and we have been at it for a long time! We feel young at heart and thus consider ourselves Immature Seniors.

All stories, poems, jokes and comments that follow are in large print for those who like easy to read text. We will always do our best to add new content each week.

The content of this post is written by the web page author and is original. If you choose to copy any content from this site, please let others know where you got it from.

Human Stupidicus

Scientists have recently made an unusual discovery. They claim that amid the world population fully twenty five percent show an ancestral DNA link to Neanderthal man. They have renamed these modern throw backs, “Human Stupidicus.” Here are a few examples; These individuals are highly ego centric, they never use turn signals, do not hold doors open for others, cut others off in traffic, and budge into line ups at cashiers. They are rather linguistically challenged and when emotionally upset are rendered nearly speechless except for a few crude hand gestures and one syllable cuss words. When parking they make sure to take up at least two or three spaces, make sure its crooked and yes for kicks make sure they ding your door. They will hold up traffic, both lanes to have a chat with the guy in other car, just because they know each other, often live next door. (last week we observed an example of high tech human stupidicous. The pair drew their cars next to each other at the entry of a gas station, blocking other cars and even commercial trucks from entry. Each kept their windows closed so their air conditioning could continue to keep them comfortable, popped open their I-phones and commenced texting.) Female human stupidicous can be seen in all her glory in cashier line ups. They chat with others, check their phones, then get to the cashier fumble through their bags looking for their customer cards. Then after three minutes give up looking for them. Once rung through, they spend another three minutes looking for their cash card only to find its in the purse they left at home. When in the great outdoors they show little sense of the environment, tossing sundry litter all about, be it bottles, bags, cigarettes or candy wrap. Often they can be seen wearing inappropriate clothing for the weather conditions such as shorts on a twenty below zero day, or stretch pants that are several sizes too small. The female of their species likes to apply make-up when driving on the freeways at maximum speed, displaying a formidable lack of fear of death. Many seem to have ears far too small, their listening skills suspect, noticeable most when they are in adolescence. However they compensate for their lack of hearing by having mouths far too large. Their speech often so loud that it can be heard through a restaurant or office.
Scientists note that there are varied degrees of this ancient DNA. Some have only a small fraction others more. The next time you see one of these throwbacks just smile and thank you lucky stars you got the good end of the DNA stick.

Immature Senior- Season’s End

This site is dedicated to those of us past a certain age who have developed a great deal of wisdom in combination with an awesome sense of humor. None of the content is intended to cause insult or injury.

Webster’s Dictionary defines Immature as; not mature, not completely developed, not finished or perfect. It defines senior as; older, of higher rank or service. We like to think of ourselves as not finished and of higher rank! Many of us are projects still in the works, and we have been at it for a long time! We feel young at heart and thus consider ourselves Immature Seniors.

All stories, poems, jokes and comments that follow are in large print for those who like easy to read text. We will always do our best to add new content each week.

The content of this post is written by the web page author and is original. If you choose to copy any content from this site, please let others know where you got it from.

Season’s End

The days in the sun are gone
a chill is in the air
trees are going golden
leaves falling everywhere

I long for the lazy days
when the sun was oh so high
for with this season of fall
I know winter is truly nigh

Away go my sandals and shorts
and the creamy sun block too
out come my winter sweaters
and my long-johns oh so blue

Away goes the rake and garden hoe
my mind is in a muddle
soon frosty white icy snow
will give way to the autumn puddle

My days in the sun are past
and fall is in the air
why did they leave so swiftly
why didn’t the summer last?

Immature Senior & Found Poetry

This site is dedicated to those of us past a certain age who have developed a great deal of wisdom in combination with an awesome sense of humor. None of the content is intended to cause insult or injury.

Webster’s Dictionary defines Immature as; not mature, not completely developed, not finished or perfect. It defines senior as; older, of higher rank or service. We like to think of ourselves as not finished and of higher rank! Many of us are projects still in the works, and we have been at it for a long time! We feel young at heart and thus consider ourselves Immature Seniors.

All stories, poems, jokes and comments that follow are in large print for those who like easy to read text. We will always do our best to add new content each week.

The content of this post is written by the web page author and is original. If you choose to copy any content from this site, please let others know where you got it from.

Found Poetry

Found Poetry- Every line is a song title…really!

From The Heart

My Heart Cries For You
Are You Lonesome Tonight?
All In Love Is Fair
Don’t Give Up
I Won’t Ever Let You Down
I’m Your Angel
This I promise You

Give Me One More Night
You Can Do Magic
I Need You
Here I Am
Mercy Mercy Me
I Pledge My Love
Love Of My Life
Inseparable!

Bathroom Bar

This site is dedicated to those of us past a certain age who have developed a great deal of wisdom in combination with an awesome sense of humor. None of the content is intended to cause insult or injury.

Webster’s Dictionary defines Immature as; not mature, not completely developed, not finished or perfect. It defines senior as; older, of higher rank or service. We like to think of ourselves as not finished and of higher rank! Many of us are projects still in the works, and we have been at it for a long time! We feel young at heart and thus consider ourselves Immature Seniors.

All stories, poems, jokes and comments that follow are in large print for those who like easy to read text. We will always do our best to add new content each week.

The content of this post is written by the web page author and is original. If you choose to copy any content from this site, please let others know where you got it from.

Bathroom Bar

Overheard in our local fast food joint the other day…
One Senior said to the next, “Did you hear about Harry? He’s getting a bar put into his bathroom.”
“A bar? I thought Harry had quit drinking!”
“No you fool, not that kind of bar!” Replied the first.
“Is there any other kind?”
“Of course there is. Harry is getting a bar so he can get in and out of the tub, its to assist him! No one would want the other kind of bar in their bathroom!” added the first.
“Well…I would,” the second glumly observed, “its better than the kind you need to help you get up!”
“Yeah, a bar in the John, great spot for one. A man could do his drinking, his thinking and his tinkling all at one and in absolute peace!”
The pair went thoughtful and quiet. I could almost see the wheels turning!